Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
