Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
