She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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