remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
