I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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