Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
