Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I bet he comes in French.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
