the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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