Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
