just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
