Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
