he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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