nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
