This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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