I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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