this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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