I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
