Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
