At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
