Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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