Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
