shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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