just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
