Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
