Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
