So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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