It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
