ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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