I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We need to rekindle our bromance
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
