my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
