At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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