How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
