hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
