Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
