you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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