Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
