The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
