Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
