Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
