He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Two words: nipple clamps
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