ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
