I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
