my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
