and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
