ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
