You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
