Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Say something about gay babies.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Randomize
