whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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