I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Enjoy the penises
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
