OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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